I read the new NBA CBA. Here are some (mostly inconsequential) takeaways.

The NBA’s new Collective Bargaining Agreement was unveiled today, leaving front offices in a scramble to read all 676 pages in their full glory. A lot of it is technical — plenty of numbers and math in there, but that’s not why I’m writing this article. Instead of delving into the intricacies of salary cap aprons, luxury taxes, and the complexities of NBA financials, I’m here for the lighter side of things. Join me as I highlight some peculiar and enlightening takeaways that caught my attention, providing a mix of quirks and hopefully some newfound knowledge.

1. The NBA sends out a highlight reel of every player after every game that they’ve played.

The exact wording on this one is as follows:

“Promptly following the conclusion of each Regular Season, Play-In, and. playoff. game. in which a Content Participant participates, the NBA shall make available to such Content Participant at least two (2) “highlights” ( i.e. , game footage clips) from that game featuring such player, subject to availability.”

I wonder if the person whose task this is ever struggles with finding two highlights. There’s gotta be a Westbrook game every once in a while that makes their job 10 times harder.

2. The NBA daily meal allowance is $156 in 2023–24, and it’s split up between breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

With inflation factored in, this honestly feels a little low when compared to the 2017–18 daily allowance of $129. Then again, I’m a lot less educated on the topic than the people writing this. 18% of the budget is for breakfast, 28% is for lunch, and 54% is for dinner. Isn’t breakfast supposed to be the most important meal of the day? Would LeBron James be a better player if he spent 54% of his daily allowance (that he certainly doesn’t use) on breakfast instead of lunch? The world may never know.

3. The gambling stuff.

A lot of talk has been made about the NBA allowing partnerships with gambling companies, and deservedly so. Just today, it was announced a “handful” of NFL players would be suspended the entire season for betting on games. That presents a bit of an issue — even more so in basketball, where there are more games to manipulate, and individual players have more of a direct effect on the result. A third-string defensive lineman can’t throw a game — but the 7th guy in an NBA rotation certainly can (to an extent). With how much money gambling companies are throwing around nowadays, though, it is an extremely profitable venture for players to enter. The new CBA acknowledges that and allows players to partner with gaming companies. There will be a lot made of this, but this is the only quote that matters, in my opinion:

“For clarity, no player may participate in endorsement or promotional activity of a Gaming Company where such endorsement or promotion involves NBA League-related bets or contests.”

4. The Fred VanVleet Rule.

The NBA clearly has a refereeing problem — when players and coaches are willing to take fines for cursing out referees after regular season games, that’s how you know it’s bad. Fred VanVleet’s profanity-laced tirade against Ben Taylor was the most prominent case of this, and it was surprising he only got fined $30,000. Taylor was assigned to less Raptors’ games for the rest of the season. It was almost like, the NBA agreed with VanVleet’s sentiment? Well, regardless, the NBA and NBAPA will now meet quarterly to discuss player-referee relations and interactions. This is a good thing for the league, and hopefully you won’t see as many drawn-out grudges between officials and players with these quarterly meetings in place.

5. The NBA’s “Lack of Skill” Problem.

The phrase “lack of skill” appears in the CBA 47 times! This isn’t a new component of the CBA’s vernacular, but it’s funny. Surprisingly, there are a lot of protections for teams that release players due to a lack of skill. I’m not even going to try to explain them, but clearly — it’s a skill issue.

6. The Extraordinary Circumstances Challenge.

This one I like to call the “Joel Embiid rule,” because I can already imagine him filing one of these in the future. With the new requirement of 65 games played in order to qualify for season awards, the NBA is adding an extraordinary circumstances challenge to players’ arsenals. However, the process isn’t as simple as filing a petition (like teams have done in the past):

“A player may initiate an Award Eligibility Grievance against a Team by serving a written notice thereof on the Team, with a copy of such written notice to be filed with the System Arbitrator, the Players Association, and the NBA. Such written notice shall be accompanied by a witness list, relevant documents, and other evidentiary materials on which the player intends to rely in his affirmative case. No later than 11:59 p.m. eastern on the date following the date on which the Team received written notice of the Award Eligibility Grievance, the Team shall provide to the player, the NBA, and the Players Association a witness list, relevant documents, and other evidentiary materials on which the Team intends to rely in its affirmative case.”

Both the player and the team must gather evidence and create a witness list as to why the player didn’t play 65 games. It really doesn’t seem worth it — and if a bonus is involved, who knows — maybe the team won’t cooperate!

7. Mic Rules.

I assumed the “mic’d up” part of the NBA was mostly voluntary. You ask the player if they want to do it, and they say “yeah sure,” or maybe “it’s not my thing.” However, in the new CBA, if you’re told to put one on, you can’t turn it down the first time in that particular month. This rule is applied separately for local and national broadcasts, meaning if you’re asked, you are required to be mic’d up twice a month.

8. Street Clothes.

Another one involving in-game action — if you’re in attendance, but not dressed, you have to participate in an in-game interview if requested. This is where you get your many, many Zion Williamson interviews from, and also makes me wonder about that time when Kawhi Leonard was sitting in a suite during the Western Conference Finals. Technically, couldn’t he have been forced to do an interview? Would’ve loved to see that.

9. The Dunk Contest is Dead.

I was hoping this CBA could revive the dunk contest, but a $105,000 prize for first place will not quite do it. It’s not an insignificant sum of money, but it’s also not enough to bring us back to the days of Michael Jordan vs Dominique Wilkins. You’re telling me they couldn’t get $1,000,000 from any sponsor? I mean, they’re giving each player on the teams that lose the in-season tournament semifinal games $200,000 each.

10. Vegas, the NBA is coming.

It’s official, the in-season tournament is here. And with it, comes a surprisingly decent format. With teams divided into pots based on last year’s standings, it appears they’re taking a European approach to the tournament. With that approach, however, comes neutral site games. The semifinals and final will be held at neutral sites — and like Wembley Stadium in London, this appears to be strictly a monetary decision. What better way for the NBA to dip its toes into Vegas than with 3 neutral games for a trophy in the middle of the season? I wonder if it will be Vegas every year, or if we’ll be able to see cities like Seattle express their passion for a team. Here is where I’d traditionally insert a joke about a small-market team having no fanbase, and how putting a game there would essentially be a neutral venue — but I’m a Magic fan, so I don’t have the right to say that.